A friend of mine from high school posted this [on Facebook] a few weeks ago, and then another (very dear friend - regardless of the severe time and distance between us) posted it today. 


Rather than sharing on Facebook, I want to post it here - not only because it's awe-inspiring and some amazing work by God - but because It stunned me mute. It's also a holy-shit-moment in contrast to my post just below about Grandmama. I can't imagine...but I bet she can ♥. 




Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

Mourning the loss, celebrating the life...

Tomorrow will mark a month, one month. I don't need to hear "she's in a better place". She is, I know that, and am genuinely thankful for it. I would never wish a single moment more of suffering only to keep her in my world. And I don't wish things to be different - I believe they are as they should be. Still I miss her every minute and with every fiber, cell, and particle I own.   

This is what I created to be shown at her service; thanks to my dear friend, Wayne, for helping me with the process and creating (with repeated and earnest effort) an extended version to include music from her funeral and two additional songs...just because I wanted them there :). 

Hen's Teeth

(Photo found on Google: http://tinyurl.com/cluckingbrood)

I mentioned previously that I was invited to co-author a collaborative blog: Hen's Teeth. I was asked by Nance - a friend who is also the mother of (stay with me) a girl (Paula) who was my dear friend when I attended Socastee High in Myrtle Beach. The Air Force life granted many gifts, and the M family (Nance, Bill, Paula, Marc, and Snickers) was/is certainly one them. I like to think of Nance as a mentor, despite the fact I've been somewhat of an absent student. She writes with eloquence, wisdom, wit, heart, and conviction. More importantly (to and for me), she is loving, supportive, and willing to push me when she sees fit. Back to the ladies...  I'm honored to be a part of this brood of hens, and find them each to be uniquely lovely. The About tab explains the concept of the blog perfectly.


Late and last to the game, I have finally posted over there (How's my hair?).  If you are so inclined, please click over and take a look around - we would love to have you! If you dig something you read, please leave a comment (!)...we adore them and it's the only way we know you (specifically) were there! Otherwise, you may lurk (Nance's word) at your leisure.

Untitled

I began a post last Saturday about my grandmother - about how she was doing, and what had been taking place over the last few weeks. I intend to complete that post (soon), shifting it into a before & after. The 'after' is now necessary as she left us yesterday morning just before 2:45am. 

 ~ Martha Elizabeth ~ 

Link to obituary

I know and understand there is joy and grace to be found in her finally being relieved of her suffering and of the life that was ultimately no life at all. I know she is now with her mother whom she has missed deeply and intensely since her passing, and I believe she is now free from all illness, pain, and worry. Intellectually, I know these things. Emotionally, I'm not there. There is no right or wrong place to be; we each grieve differently. Where I am now...is not past the point of her being gone..not past counting days and hours. When I drove by the nursing home yesterday evening at 8:40pm, I could only think that I had been with her at that exact time the day before. ...She was just there. 


In the space I'm in right now, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that we knew it was coming, or that it was inevitable. I'm calm in one moment and fall spectacularly and uncontrollably to sobbing pieces the next. She has been a constant in my life and has filled more space in my heart than I can survey. Her role has been more than that of a grandmother which is so difficult to measure/express personally, because she was such a special grandmother to all of us - I wasn't alone in receiving that incredible gift. 

Last week I was nearly yelling at God; I slammed my hand on my steering wheel and cried out loud wanting to understand why she was here and suffering. And now He's taken her.. She's at peace, she's whole, walking, and well. I should be beeping the horn and shouting in thanksgiving, finding comfort in resolution. 
Instead, I find difficult to breathe and my heart is shattered. 

I added a tag cloud out of curiosity; it's to right of this post → somewhere over there. No surprise. Even in the life of my writing, she has been the main character. And because there is *life* in my writing, my first task was to compose her obituary. Contradictory? Not really. It is an announcement of her death, but a statement about her life. There are letters to various caretakers at NHC to follow, but for the moment, I'm here. Not the most consistent writer in the Land of Blog, but beginning this very personal process... 
Learning how to live without her. 

Weighted

I mentioned to a friend that I hadn’t posted anything recently because all that had been on my mind had been fairly heavy. True. Not that I don’t enjoy/appreciate a blog with some weight to it, but my writing tends to tilt toward random fluff. For the moment, as I sit next to my Grandmother while she sleeps…I’ve decided writing the heavier might be cathartic. My life has a lot of natural light, perhaps acknowledging the shade will provide for a nice balance - as with photography. We shall see. Then too, I'm not a photographer, I'm also not a writer. I fear my friends are all talked/listened out on this particular topic (Grandmama). If nothing else, they know my heart and my love for this very special woman.

(Taken 5.9.09)

This evening, the front hall of the Magnolia Wing (of Grandmama's nursing home) is quiet; the back hall, however, is buzzing with activity…as someone has just “expired”. There are loved ones to be informed, procedures to be followed, paperwork to be processed, and roommates to be moved. We don’t usually know when someone passes; they have a discreet set of doors at the end of each wing and certainly don’t ring a bell or make an announcement. We learned of the death because there happens to be a CNA working this evening who suffers from a complete lack of tact and a gift for remarkably inappropriate word choice + information sharing.

This July, it will have been one year since Grandmama moved into NHC (the nursing home). It was a year ago this February & March that she began having such consistent trouble, repeated hospitalizations, a bleed in her brain, a reaction to the plasma intended to help with the blood loss…which led to a terrifying stint in the neuro-ICU. The weeks followed with time in Select Specialty Hospital, back to University Hospital, and so on… Initially, the placement @ NHC (the area nursing home of choice) was presented as short-term…physical therapy intensive…readying her to go home. I knew then she’d never return to her home again. As difficult as that was and is, it’s also for the best; her medical needs far outweigh what my Grandfather and I were/are able to provide (as those who were living with her). We did give a powerful and valiant effort. Is there a word which means something more than valiant, but also…slightly hopeless? Pedaling furiously…on a stationary bike, hoping that you’ll make it to your destination of choice even though you're not moving? My Grandfather is a stubborn man and held out much longer, based on a promise he’d made to her…that he’d never put her in a nursing home.

I digress…less background, more of the present.

Grandmama is often confused…doesn’t understand where she is or why. Then other days, she shares that she wishes she’d had some say in this “placement”…no one asked if her she wanted to live here, or what she thought of this place. It’s the in-between that makes it so hard; on the rare days, she is just coherent enough to know that she’s losing her senses. Her eyes are still very blue, but now always glazed…and seem very far off. My Aunt Brenda calls where she [Grandmama] is, that far off place, her “other place”. The other place is sometimes a dream-world; not a world made of all she could ever dream of…but a world composed of nothing but her dreams; mainly non-sensical stories. Children hiding under her bed, bags full of dogs, milk in her bed linens, the kitten water she’d been made to drink…Those stories, though upsetting (and not shared to diminish her personal integrity in anyway), are the more pleasant. It’s the more violent ones…where she’s been taken to the woods and stripped naked, witnessed the murder of a set of twin babies, or Is convinced Granddaddy is having an affair and also in jail for murder… Those daymares (my word) - delusions (psychological/medical term), are cruel and there is generally no talking her out them.

The exchange that instigated this post took place this past Wednesday. Having spent so much time with her and acting as a caretaker for the last several years she was at home, I am often able to anticipate her needs (as anyone in a similar situation would be…and as all of us who spend a great deal of time with her - are). I noticed she was having trouble breathing; she said she just needed to blow her nose. She can often be the Girl who Cried Nose-Blow..as she’ll do anything to get that oxygen tubing out of her nose/and off her face. She wasn’t able to blow her nose, and I still felt like she didn’t sound quite right… I requested that the nurse do an O2 check, and though they had just taken her vitals (she read at 99%), this time (the re-check)…she read at 91%. Since she felt “stopped up” we thought it might be the tubing; thus it was replaced along with the little water bottle that acts as a humidifier for her 02 machine.

Afterwards, she still looked so distressed. Her blues eyes - very worried, and her brow furrowed in deep creases. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she didn’t know… I reframedBama shaker (read: pom pom type thing used to cheer on the Crimson Tide). So I taped it to her closet door, directly in front of her bed. I taped it with handle-part down and against the wood, with the streamers hanging over it. It looks like McDonald’s fry-guy, but it’s a familiar object.

She didn’t think it would help…and I offered to take it down. She often gets frustrated with Granddady or one of my uncles who rushes when helping her with meals, but will never speak her mind – never express her frustration. I told her explicitly, right then (referring to the other times she had not spoken her mind), that if she wanted me to stop…to just say so. She said…”I don’t want to play this game anymore.” I apologized and said okay – clarifying that it wasn’t meant as a game – that I was only trying to help. “I’m here for you, Grandmama, that's all”… A sentence which certainly contained more personal weight than was intended for it’s immediate context.

I was frustrated. It hurts my heart to see her like this and I feel so helpless when there is nothing I can do to make anything better for her.

She stared out of the window for a few minutes, and then said… “The shaker will be perfect, because it will remind me of you.” I leaned over to hug her…and could not hold back my tears. I sat back down and we just sat there…holding hands…both crying. Again, she was looking off…not even out of the window, but somehow at a space right before it. She squeezed my hand and said…”let’s not cry anymore”. I replied…”yes ma’am”…and sat back in the recliner so that I was out her sight-line, and cried until I stopped. Damn. Talk about gravity of words...of a moment. I took her words metaphorically.

I trust in God‘s timeline, but do not understand it…not In her case. She no longer receives joy from anything and is hardly allowed to experience any variation of emotion or feeling… If she’s upset and can’t be calmed, she’d medicated. I too, want her to be comfortable. …But what about quality of life? I know there are those who live through far worse - without the care and benefits we are afforded. I pray that I am someday able to see the good in this situation…the positive that can be taken from it. It’s not as though the time we are being granted with her is quality time, and it's not as though there is anyone she's waiting on or wanting to see; there are no open pieces that need closure. Those who are employed by her stay will remain employed…jobs will not be lost, and for the most part…it’s not brought our family any closer together. Ultimately, I know it's simply not her time yet. The mind still reels.. Perhaps it is to keep my Grandfather alive. Perhaps I should be still, and be thankful. And know that after we brush her teeth and wash her face after dinner…she’ll enjoy the Oil of Olay being put on her face and neck…and the other lotions massaged into her arms and fingers. She always closes her eyes when I do that. And I always kiss her forehead.

(Grandmama & Kimmey...Mother's Day...5.10.09)

One less Rose

To update: Grandmama spent a few days in the hospital and was released back to the nursing home with a PIC line; she continued on antibiotics until the 23rd and was able to have the PIC removed. She's improved immensely...my time with her Saturday and Sunday (as in yesterday and the day before) was amazing. She was so clear... I keep thinking her highs and lows are off the charts...then visualize either a broken needle (unable to chart her properly), or a snarky bird with a bent beak...which of course would be if she lived in the Flintstones and the same bird who played the records had to chart her. Nevermind.

Sadly... Her brother (my great uncle), Buddy, passed away Friday morning... He's the first of her siblings to pass...she's the oldest, incidentally. He's not been well for some time...since his most recent stroke, he's not known anyone or been responsive. Brenda, Max, Mike, and Teresa were able to attend the service today in Greensboro, AL. *sigh* Uncle Buddy...

Weighing in...for (February) 23rd...I had a 1 pound loss. Another Coke.

For today, 3.5. I usually stay with whole numbers, but for some reason...today, I'll take a half. Hence...the 3.5 pound trout. I lost a trout. A Coke and a trout. Good thing they went with "Have a Coke and a smile".

So much more to ramble about...so little time.

Love.

Even Steven

I didn't post last Monday...and I didn't weigh. I had eaten nothing but trash and knew I had gained. Though I no longer have [monthly] pyramids, I am convinced my non-existent cycle still syncs up with the ladies in my office (either that, or their hormones leap off of their bodies and onto mine) because I had an insatiable craving for chocolate last week. At any rate, I let myself get away with not weighing until Wednesday...whence-upon I forced myself out of bad/avoidant behavior and onto the scale. As predicted, I had gained the puppy back.

I straightened myself up for the remainder of the week and weighed today like a good Weight Watchers girl. I've lost the puppy again, and am precisely where I was two weeks ago. Splendid. Way to break even, Amanda. Must. Press. On.

In other news....

The drawring (hello my name is Simon, and I like to do draw-rings...) was doodled during a meeting; I have a new found affection for owls. I call this one Henry. Clearly.

When typing the title for this post, I realized I had no idea where the saying came from... This is what I found. Incidentally, I was going to write 'even stephen' as this particular explanation indicates it may originally have been; plus, that's how my Dad's name is spelled. I thought it might throw people though; I decided to go with the safer of the two options.

I had about 4 inches chopped off of my hair on Saturday...I'll post a picture soon.

Grandmama was admitted to the hospital Friday evening; we spent the majority of the weekend with her there. Please keep her in yours prayers/thoughts. ...I'm praying for her comfort and for peace of heart & mind - all things she is seemingly without. It is positively heart-breaking.

A trip to the "pretty shop"...

It's been (as Shauntice would say) a minute since I updated [via blog] on Grandmama, and yesterday was a fairly eventful day...so I thought to make a quick post. For the first time in months - I'd have to look at my calendar to see how long - she left the nursing home to have her done by Darlene...who, until Grandmama became too ill, had been doing her hair for 20-something years. So...[up] there she is...tresses freshly cut and permed. The day took it's toll on them both (Grandmama and Granddaddy); I have a feeling it will take a few days to recover.

Sadly, Grandmama's roommate passed away this week. Saying it hits "close to home" is an understatement; it pings within the walls of the same room.

Yesterday, Granddaddy and the NHC staff moved Grandmama over to the other side of the room. She's now near the window and has a bit more room & wall space. She's under the impression she's in a new room altogether; last night, I found it best not to argue. No real news on the health front for her... The things that have been issues, continue to be issues.

Granddaddy had surgery on his foot last Thursday (one week ago yesterday). He's recovering well and riding Grandmama's motorized wheelchair much of the time. I think that about does it for the G'rents!

Bama Betty

Long overdue for an update on Betty, Saturday night's quick shaker-shot made for a nice intro...

To re-cap, Granddaddy essentially campaigned prior to Labor Day weekend that Grandmama be released and allowed to move back home; he felt she was ready and that collectively (with home-health), we would be able to provide the level of care she required. Though ideal/dreamy, no one felt it...realistic. In the end (sparing the details), it was a difficult weekend to both witness and experience, but perhaps a necessary exercise [in futility] for this well-intentioned husband...trying to do the very best he could/can to care for wife/love. I think he had to see for himself that it wouldn't work, and so he saw. Thankfully she didn't get hurt, and he wasn't injured beyond strained muscles. For the rest of us, it was mental & emotional chaos + emergency trips out each time Granddaddy called...in addition to the scheduled ones [trips]. She went home that Friday, back to the nursing home that Tuesday, and was admitted to the hospital that Thursday (9/4) for exacerbated congestive heart failure.

Picking up from there... She was released from the hospital (back to the nursing home) on 9/11...and other than a day-trip to the e.r. on 9/18 (where they did make an interesting find about the source of her chronic UTI's) + a necessary room & wing change @ the nursing home...things have been relatively quiet for the last couple of weeks. She does seem to have a stomach bug this weekend...:/. We're happy to be back on the Magnolia Wing though...holla!

She continues to participate in PT on her good days, and rest on the not-so-good days. She had just gotten her hair done prior to this picture - was pretty happy about that...and looking forward to the game :). She told her roommate, who had asked her to turn the TV off at 8pm the night before, that she and her husband would be watching the Alabama game, and that she was welcome to watch it with them :). That's my girl! In general, her mental status comes and goes.

Brenda took her outside the other day...which is the first time she's been out to enjoy the grounds. Her sister and my great aunt, Pat, along with a few other 'Bama family members will be coming in a few weeks to visit (on a by week of course). Brenda is planning a lovely picnic at the nursing home...which should be great; looking forward to it!

If we can get her to keep her oxygen tube on/in all day, every day, I'll be a happier camper. She's a sly one, that Betty (;.

Addendum

Grandmama was admitted to the hospital this morning.

NHC called Granddaddy around 3:30am to let him know she was
having trouble breathing & that her stats were dropping. He called everyone
around 4am to say they were on the way to the e.r....

She was admitted shortly before 7am on the basis of exacerbated congestive
heart failure. This morning they were working to help her breathe, stabilize her sugar, and draw excess fluid/water from her system.

Such is life.

(I used to make Grandmama "play" Laverne & Shirley incessantly [so says she]. The theme song makes me think of her... If we were to play now, I'd rather be Laverne...she's much funnier than Shirley.)

Grandmama went back into NHC (the nursing home) yesterday... The weekend was less than pleasant, but perhaps a necessary one; not my call. She's upset to have returned, and we all truly hate that she can't be where wants to be... It hurts my heart; Monday evening was particularly heart-wrenching. She has received good care @ NHC though...and right now, it makes the most sense.

She is on a different wing and now has a roommate; previously, she was in a private room. Her roommate seems sweet and [naturally] set in her ways; we'll see how the roommate-ship progresses. I worry that Grandmama won't ask for what she needs or do as she likes for fear that she'll disturb her room-fellow; she (Grandmama) is also set in her [sometimes submissive] ways. Her roommate is not a watcher of TV (uh-oh!) - or a lover of light (not really an issue), and is a bit sensitive to noise (they've already swapped Grandmama's O2 machine for a more quiet model). She kept Brenda and I laughing yesterday though...she's not shy; I love it. Ideally, they'll be great company for each other.

If you'd like more specific info (room number, etc), feel free to send me an e-mail. In the mean time, know that Grandmama & Granddaddy are both holding their own.

ROLL TIDE, ROLL.

Happy as an...anemone.

Love this picture of Grandmama and some of the ladies from Rose's (a store somewhere between Wal-mart and a department store - conceptually, not physically); not sure what year it was taken.

So guess who left the nursing home...and went HOME today? Correct! Though...she's the only person I've been talking about in a nursing home...so... At any rate, Ms. Betty is indeed back at home and happy as a clam.

Aside: "Happy as a clam" just rolled out of my brain, but as I wrote it...I realized I have no idea what it means. Where did this come from and how do you know a clam is happy? Are the curves of their shells constant and natural smiles? I looked it up and prefer this Brit's take.

Back to Betty. She's at home and, per usual upon release from hospital, she'll receive care from a home health nurse & physical therapist. There may be additional arrangements/care; I'm not sure. She is in...fair condition. I'm happy for her that she is in her own home, her own chair, her own bed, surrounded by her own things, and with her husband. Sadly, I don't think she'll be home for long; I don't believe she will remain well enough...and I don't think we can provide the level of care she needs. ...Not on a daily...or hourly basis. ...And not while maintaining our jobs, etc... She's there for now :).

These three things...

With Little Bruce...Memorial Day 2007

First, Grandmama. Things have been fairly quiet for her lately which is generally a good thing. The week before last was a pretty good week and I would term last week a mediocre one. She's been dealing with a UTI and a bit of a cough, but is hangin' in well with her PT. She has a weekend nurse, Lakish, (a bit of a warrior - I LOVE her) who has been vigilant in treating Grandmama's infection. Just nice to have a fresh set of eyes looking at the problem... Also, Grandmama had her PEG removed Friday. She's still sore, but happy to have it out. We'll see how therapy goes this week. Outside of just wanting to go home, her main complaint is the food...which does seem to have dropped off in quality for some reason. Yesterday, she had the "terriblist" banana pudding she'd ever had :).


Numero dos... The Weight Loss Challenge!!! Upon the weigh in this Saturday, we are all losers again (cue Beck song, "Loser"...). WOO-HOO!!! The numbers (for this week only)...

Team Mealing
Brenda.... minus 2 (pounds)
Max... - minus 3

Team Meigs
Teresa... minus 4
Mike... minus 3

Team Roseland
Kimmey... minus 3
Daryl... minus 3
Amanda... minus 5

And finally... Football season is merely DAYS away now...ROLL TIDE ROLL!!! I can taste it and couldn't be more excited. Our season opener is against Clemson (reminder: I live in South Carolina)...and will be played in the GA Dome @ 7pm CST.

Let's go BAMA, clap clap...clapclap!!!

TLC

Grandmama requested that I shear (I don't love the word s-h-a-v-e) her legs this past weekend... I decided to make an afternoon of it and called Kimmey so we could have a Girls' Day :). She (Grandmama) was chipper and super talkative; we had a grand time complete with manicure, leg shaving (ack), and a facial! We turned off the tele and played country music (courtesy of the "Country Music I can Stand" folder on my iPod)...which was the closest to Grand Ol' Opry I could get for her. I added some pictures from our afternoon to her Picasa album...which, for the sake of information, she granted me permission to take. In fact, she wanted me to take a picture of her smooth & shiny gams. Kimmey and I completely adored the whole thing...and were/are thankful for the sweet time we were able to spend with her. We (Kimmey & I) were also able to spend some time together...which was simply lovely as well.

She (Grandmama) is doing okay, by the way. Fair, I'd say. Here's a bit of post-pampering video. It shows up a bit...off-center, but it works. You can also go here to see it and other clips.

Chronological Disorder

Grandmama is going to have her PEG out...

...No...wait. She's going to the emergency room with chest pains.

She's been admitted to the hospital.

She's better.

...Nevermind...she's not.

She has improved and is moving back to Select Specialty Hospital...

No, wait. Not better...staying at University Hospital.

Going to Select.

Nevermind. Going to NHC (nursing home). Keeping PEG.

WTH?! My head is spinning...and is also exhausted.
She doesn't know where she is half the time...who can blame her?!
...And Granddaddy... He hasn't quite lost his marbles...but they are rolling all over the floor. He's doing his best to stoop down...scrape & collect them in his arthritic arms.

Let me break this down...just for fun.

March 19th-28...admitted to and stayed @ Trinity Hospital.

March 28th...home...and also her birthday!!!

April 8th...EMT to house.

April 12th-28th...admitted to University Hospital; home on the 28th.

May 7th-May 28th...admitted to University Hospital.

May 29th...moved to Select Specialty Hospital.

May 29th-July 1st...stayed @ Select.

July 2nd...moved to NHC (nursing home).

June 2nd-July 28th...stayed @ NHC.

July 28th...to e.r. with chest pains...admitted.

July 28th-July 3st...in University Hospital.

August 1st...back to NHC.

*sigh*

Love, love, love her.

Revolving Door

Grandmama was scheduled to have her PEG removed yesterday...

Instead of the operating room, she took a trip to the emergency room....with chest pains.

She was & is having heart trouble and was admitted to University Hospital yesterday afternoon. They're running tests (as usual) today...no results/information yet.

Granddaddy is clearing out her room at the nursing home as

she is not expected to return in the next day or so...and insurance won't cover both placements simultaneously. Should she be released from the hospital, we'll hope for an open room @ NHC - where she'll begin a fresh set of 100 days. She was admitted [to NHC] exactly one month ago - tomorrow. (I told someone the wrong date..sorry!)

The picture above was taken Saturday; she was laughing about being difficult/contrary. We were battling over the oxygen tube (me trying to keep it in...her pulling it out)...and she had just called herself "Bad Betty". I'll buy that. Wish I could say she looked this good yesterday...

Update on Betty

All set for the Vandy game...9.8.07

Not a whole lot to report...other than to say this hasn't been one of her better weeks. She hasn't felt well overall, has been nauseous each day, and has been quite contrary (Mary, Mary). Granddaddy feels that the PEG is the root cause of any and all GI trouble, and has asked that [if possible] it be removed. As a result, they'll be taking it out Monday morning... Since she's been at NHC...I [personally] feel such a disconnect in terms of her medical information/status. Granted...it's not being monitored in the same manner it has been for the last few months - so it may not be a lack of access to information, but simply less...tracking & collection. I hope that something outside of my Grandfather's request is supporting this procedure.

She's not been able to participate in therapy as much this week, and seems a bit less oriented...at times anyway. I will, of course, keep posting...thanks so much for asking about her :).

T is for Therapy

Grandmama with Kimmey...7.13.08

Wanted to offer an update on Ms. Betty... She is continues to be remarkably consistent in her inconsistency. She'll have a great day, and then plummet the next. "Plummet days" take a few days to recover from...which is exhausting for her. She dreads therapy and hopes to somehow evade it each day :). Monday, she had a cardiology appointment - which she was taken to by ambulance (rough ride). Everything looked good heart-wise...and her pacemaker battery is good for one more year. She has been having significant difficulty hearing; they've been working to flush her ears this week and it has made a huge difference! She's had a decent appetite, though she got sick while eating on Wednesday...very unpleasant for her. Most evenings she falls asleep shortly after dinner...we believe she is simply worn-out from her workouts; there have been several days when it has been impossible to wake her from her sleep. With that deep sleep, she's tolerating the CPAP mask relatively well. Her oxygen tube/nose-piece is a different story altogether; she pulls it out every chance she gets. We've added a clock and calendar to her room...hoping to provide a bit of orientation. I'd like to say it's been helpful for her, but I don't know that it is. She has 3 birthdays to celebrate this month though (which are on her calendar)...Elizabeth, Brenda, and Mike! That about covers it...thanks for thinking of her...I'll be in touch :).

Love.

The Scoop

As is often said...no news, is good news.


Since the PEG procedure, things have been relatively quiet. She was having a lot of pain/soreness from the surgery, but that has eased off now. Interestingly, she's been eating more by mouth since the removal of the NG tube and the insertion of the PEG...weird. Regardless, eating by mouth is a good thing...provided she eats and drinks enough to maintain adequate nutrition and hydration.


Her heart continues to be a bit...erratic; they continue to treat that by alternating nitro and digoxin. Her O2 level is acceptable and they are working to have her wear the BiPAP less...as not having to wear it would put her in a more "stable" category...and allow for a move/transfer. Though she is getting enough oxygen in, her exhalation leaves something to be desired and also leaves behind too much carbon dioxide. Other than a steady low-grade temp...those are the medical highlights.


She has had a couple of good days...which have allowed for some therapy and a couple of field trips :). One...to the solarium to look out of the window, and another...downstairs and outside for a few minutes (while in a cardiac bed/chair). On the not so good days, everyone works to keep her comfortable and somewhat oriented. Confusion is a constant.


The "next move" is certainly being discussed right now... I'll share more once the plans are in place. There isn't much to say right now anyway as she isn't yet stable enough to move...so we don't know the "when", and we also don't yet know the "where".


I always tell her when people ask about her...or when I hear from anyone, so feel free to leave a note...I promise to pass it along! I've changed my settings to allow comments from anyone (which means you don't have to register)...and I'll keep it that way unless I'm deluged by spam or other web trash.


Love.

Weary

Granddaddy; 6.15.08